Classes

Stefanos & Shay's entertaining, information-packed classes have been called "better than a Vegas act.” They are energetic, engaging, exuberant exhibitionists – with a little alliteration fetish!

  • This isn’t always serious work we do! Predicaments are all about getting between the proverbial “rock and hard place” (and laughing as your partner is flummoxed by their situation); playful BDSM is about giggling together in scene, with both partners participating creating the “torment.”

    This class will show you how to bring a different level of engagement to your BDSM play and go beyond giving and receiving sensations – create story lines and connect mentally with your partner. Stefanos & Shay will address both the top and bottom’s perspective, including communicating within the mood of your scene and discussion of bratting.

    Leave your rope bag at home – this is NOT a bondage class! In addition to demonstrating many specific predicaments and games, Stefanos & Shay will discuss this type of play in a broad sense to guide you in developing your own unique scenes.

    (This class is mostly demo and lecture, with some discussion.)

  • (Event organizers: Due to the intense nature of this class, we are currently only offering it on a limited basis and within specific scheduling guidelines. Please contact us for more information.)

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    Forced sex roleplay, fear, blood, interrogation, resistance… playing on the brink can be vastly rewarding, but also psychologically and physically dangerous (which is of course part of the appeal). Stefanos & Shay will demonstrate & discuss types of edge play scenes, negotiation & aftercare for this type of play, and the how & why of taking yourself (and your partner/s) to the limit…and then pulling them (and yourself) back.

    This class includes numerous demos, including emotional edge play, sexual consensual non-consent, gun play, blood/needles, use of “trigger words,” and rough body play, as well as discussion about limits and risk awareness in the context of edge play. Throughout, Stefanos & Shay emphasize using edge play for catharsis and empowerment.

    This class is not for beginners and contains content that many participants find triggering (often in unexpected ways). NO LATE ENTRY allowed for this session.

    (This class is mostly demo and lecture, with some discussion.)

  • Description text goes hereGet out of the box and create your own unique power exchange dynamic! This class is about breaking away from “traditional” D/s or M/s to formulate relationship models and protocols that are unique to YOU.

    Stefanos & Shay will draw from their years of experience in an unconventional D/s relationship to discuss & demonstrate the use of creative protocols to establish headspace for a scene, including applying the concept of “flow” to make your scenes soar. They will start with verbal protocols, focused on manners of address and communicating within the “mood” of your dynamic (particularly from the s-type’s perspective). Next they’ll cover physical protocols, with a focus on position training. The class is peppered with insights gleaned from positive psychology and applying relationship research to D/s, because science is sexy!

    (This class contains elements of demo, lecture, discussion, and class interaction.)

  • Bottoming skills are often overlooked, but they are they are the skillziest skillz in BDSM! Whether your dynamic is brat play or high protocol D/s, there are verbal and non-verbal methods you can use during a scene to give feedback and guidance to ultimately make a more satisfying experience for yourself and your partner(s).

    In addition to the focus on in-scene communication, this class will include interactive activities to help you approach tops for play, discussion about negotiation (hint: it isn’t just passively being interrogated by the top!), and tips on taking care of yourself before & after a scene.

    (This class contains elements of demo, lecture, discussion, and class interaction.)

  • "You never have a second chance to make a first impression." - It's an oft-repeated cliche because it's true! Many crucial "firsts" go into playing at events, especially with occasional or new partners; poise, finding compatible partners, confident & empathetic negotiation, reading your partner during the scene, and more. We're all feeling out of practice when it comes to playing at events; Stefanos & Shay will tap into their decade-plus of scene experience to give tips & tricks to make your play soar! They will include demonstrations focused on meeting people, dynamic bottoming, quick top ideas to have up your sleeve, and utilizing/reading body language. This highly interactive session offers opportunities to assess your negotiation skills, consider your limits, and (optionally) participate in roleplay scenarios.

    Feedback on First Impressions:

    “Thank you so much for the class. It was really extremely informative and you both are amazing! The demos/role plays were just spot on on what us newbies need to learn. Thank you very much!" – p

    "First Impressions was a smash hit. We were fascinated and highly stimulated with never a dull moment. Your energy and skill of delivery made the class so much fun and informative that we could not believe that 2+ hours had gone by so fast.” -aesjat

    “Thank you very much for such a great class. I really appreciated all your info, and as a totally new beginner, it was great to have you demo the negotiations and the checking-in aspects of scenes. Really, really helpful stuff! You guys made it safe, fun, incredibly informative (your handout is a gold mine - I had a friend who couldn't come tonight and I'm going to be able to take her through the whole class!), funny, relaxing, and hot! You seem like natural teachers and all around lovely people. Thanks for offering this service to the community!” -Anonymous

    Anonymous feedback from KinkFest 2022:

    "Shay and Stefanos are amazing and they are experts at presenting." 

    "This class was engaging, practical, and fun."

    "The presenters were awesome! Would love to attend a workshop on another topic presented by them." 

    "Excellent presenters."

    Anonymous feedback from KinkFest 2018:

    The presenters had a very engaging and humorous style which really engaged their audience and made for a perfect first workshop for a newbie!

    Shay and Stefanos rock. I would listen to them read the phone book.

    Stefanos and Shay are engaging, entertaining, and passionate about their topics. 10 out of 10 would recommend them to others.

    Shay and Stefanos had some of the best energy and audience chemistry I've ever seen from presenters. I would not hesitate to attend another workshop by them.

    This was the first workshop I attended this year. I loved the presenters and took another workshop with them as a result!

    This was a FABULOUS workshop! Shay and Stefanos are engaging presenters and found creative ways to keep the class engaged and to remember important aspects of pick-up play.

    I'd attend any workshop presented by this pair of instructors.

    Fantastic energy! The audience was engaged and smiling the whole time. I really thought it was a great class. Thank you for putting it on!

    I would love these have these presenters back next year.

    I wasn't going to take this class because I have done pickup play before but room.1 was full (as usual). So I took this and BOY was I glad I did. Stefano and Shay are BRILLIANT presenters. They had loads of information that they shared. The pace was perfect, humor was on point....Need more from them.

    Stefanos and Shay were the most skilled and engaging presenters I saw at KF. Please keep bringing them back.

    These two killed it. Everyone one I spoke to who was in the class had a good time.

    They were very entertaining. I am glad I went to this workshop.

    Shay and Stefanos are so engaging. I love their classes.

    Shay and Stefanos are presenters that I would enjoy seeing many, many times on any topic they wish to present. Their energy, intelligence, humor and obvious love of the material are communicated in every facet of their presentation. I basically have a big fanboy crush on them.

    Anonymous feedback from Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire 2020

    Great examples, modeling consent and using correct pronouns, very entertaining as always :-)

    Love the stories, examples are so useful.

    Your experience helped answer LOTS of other questions unrelated to pick-up play!

    As someone still relatively inexperienced, your content has universal application not just pick-up play! So many light bulbs went off. Thank you! 

  • Love may be a burning thing, but your fire play should be mindful and conscientious. Literally playing with fire carries inherent risks – this class starts from a harm reduction perspective, with a foundation of safety, consent, risk mitigation, and bottoming education. Fire tools and receiving fire play will be discussed, followed by specific techniques, including fire wands, spray, flash, foam, and cupping, with explanations of the process's details and rewards. If you're bound by a wild desire to fall into a ring of fire, Stefanos & Shay will give you the background to start the process as safely and skillfully as possible!

    Feedback on Pyro-Passion:

    "It was a great class. You two are very dynamic, knowledgeable and entertaining presenters. Not a dull moment and lots of good information." -technowench

    "This was by far the best class I've ever been to. You guys made it informative, funny, and entertaining the whole way through. And I'm definitely going to keep an eye out for your guys' other classes in the future."-Kala

    "I thought the fireplay class and demo you and Stefanos presented was one of the best I've ever attended. You guys are soooo entertaining"- John

    "I learned so much, and I really want to start practicing and improving my skills. You two are the best instructors, and you play off of each other so well. It's like an educational class, floor show, comedy show, and love fest all rolled into one - just amazing. And it doesn't hurt to have the best & most beautiful stunt bottoms in the world, either ;-)"- Andrew

    “You guys are adorable together and a pleasure to watch, and I learned a lot in the classes as well! Of course I won't lie that I could be happy watching you read a phonebook... :-P” –Fish

    “I just wanted to thank you again for your great fire classes. We've been doing fire for about a year but love all of the new ideas that we got from you.” -Anon

    “After ~15-20 years in and out (slightly more out) of the scene it's rare that I find something totally new that I've never tried and truly enjoy but y'all knocked it out of the park. It was so easy and MUCH safer than I anticipated. Obviously, I need to learn a good bit more before introducing it into actual play but you two whet my palate for the genre in a major way - thank you so much for that! The combo of fire+blood play is... exceptionally compelling.” -Le

    “We found the fire play classes very informative and entertaining; bravo, bravo, and thank you for doing them. You are Steph are both lovely to watch, and I got an extra kick out of the 'meows' and 'yips' you make when playing. SUPER-CUTE.” -Anon

    "Wonderful fire play class last night. Thank you very much for the informative and hands-on instruction. I especially liked how you demonstrated within a scene how it can be used sensually and/or sadistically."-S3x

  • his highly interactive class will look at sexy, intense, silly, and entertaining ways to “decorate” the cocks in your life. Stefanos & Shay will start with a basic discussion of anatomy, safety considerations, negotiation, and circumcised vs. intact vs. strap-on cocks, then move into formal accessories like cock rings and chastity devices.

    They will then demonstrate multiple cock and ball bondage techniques, including using bondage to create a cock ring, wrapping everything up in a neat (and easy!) package, making a cock “helicopter,” creating a kynodesme (google it!), and cock bondage for chastity.

    Portions of this class include optional hands-on participation (attendees are also welcome to watch only). The instructors will provide cord for in-class use. If you opt to participate, you may practice on yourself, or come to class with a partner with whom you have negotiated participation in the types of play outlined above, and with whom you can discuss specific consent prior to each hands-on tie shown in the class.

    (This class is demo, lecture, some discussion, and hands-on. Participation is appreciated and optional!)

  • Case Scenarios focuses on general risk awareness for a playspace environment and a non-internationalist, customer service and anticipatory approach to the role of dungeon monitors (DMs). It is highly recommended for both experienced and aspiring DMs and event hosts, but is also informative (and entertaining!) for those who do not plan to DM, providing valuable information about safety and incident management, as well as orientation to common playspace rules and etiquette. Come see why this class has been called “The best DM training. Ever.” and “A show that must be taken on the road.”

    A San Francisco original, Case Scenarios was created by Stefanos & Shay in 2007, based on Shay’s work running “mega-code” scenarios as part of medical education and Stefanos’ Military Readiness training. After a brief introduction, they will jump into interactive roleplay scenes, inviting class volunteers to manage and analyze these situations.

    While every DM shift is unique (and different venues many have very disparate rules and training requirements), the scenarios are chosen to stimulate thinking and encourage development of critical thinking skills that will serve in any play environment.

    Note that being a DM is a challenging role that is not a fit for everyone. DMing requires event and venue specific orientation, and taking this class alone does not qualify nor endorse participants to take on the DM role.

    (This class is demo, lecture, discussion, and interactive/hands-on.)

    Feedback on Case Scenarios DM Training:

    “Very entertaining and informative for sure… We had a great time… I think you guys should take that show on the road – you’d be a hit everywhere!”

    “My thanks to you both for hosting such a beneficial Case Scenarios class. I found it to be educational, comical, sincere, and very engaging. The hands-on experience was great, and while I am shy, it just felt right to participate thanks to the environment you created.” – @Auyestiin

    “Maybe a little too much ketchup ;-). You and Stef were amazing as usual. Thank you for what you do.” -@SearayCA

    “I loved the structure of your course. Dropping us into scenarios like that really engraved the details to me. I also had a lot of fun :)” -@bio_alchemist

    “The case scenarios DM training class was fantastic, very informative, it allowed me to view scenarios that I would have maybe never thought about, or even seen for many years. It will not only help me immensely as a DM but in considering my own dungeon etiquette.”

    “Better than a Vegas act!”

    “Both informational and hilarious.”

    “This is the best DM training I’ve ever attended. The style of instruction was so engaging. Thank you!”cription

  • Kick off your event with an energetic, interactive, entertaining, and informative orientation presented by Stefanos & Shay! This session is especially recommended for dungeon first-timers, covering everything from exhibitionist etiquette to flirting tips to common dungeon missteps. A generous sprinkling of psychological science and sexy & silly demos means that even experienced kinksters will come away with new insights!

    For producers: We offer this orientation tailored to your specific event/venue rules and priorities. Please contact us for additional information!

  • Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) is outpacing Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) as a model for What It Is That We Do (WIITWD) – and soon acronyms may take over BDSM completely! While much lip service is paid to the concept, are we really practicing RACK? We spend a lot of time talking about the “consent” part (rightfully), and “kink” is pretty much a given. However, “risk awareness” is often assumed. Bottoms, it’s your body on the line here – do you know the dangers (and safer practices) of flogging, bondage, play piercing and breath control?

    Stefanos & Shay will start this session with a self-assessment that includes questions about many different types of play and use this as an outline to discuss risk awareness, from specific health considerations to heavy impact to cutting to suspension (including demos designed to enhance your ability to assess your top’s safety and expertise with different types of play). They will also discuss the science of human risk evaluation (spoiler alert: we suck at it but can learn to be better) and the distinction between hazards, risks, and things that are scary. Rather than promoting “one true way,” they will encourage you to develop your risk tolerance profile and “budget” your risk. Tops are also welcome to attend, as this session may enhance your pre-scene communication and ability to “RACK up” your bottoms. (This class is a demo, lecture, and discussion.)

    Feedback on RACK Me Up:

    “I just wanted to thank you again for a wonderful class today! Being my first class wasn’t sure what to expect. I have heard great things about you, and it was a pleasure being there today. This class was so welcoming and comfortable. And I learned a lot!” -p.f

    “Thanks for the class. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You and Stefanos are excellent teachers; I’d love to watch and learn from you any day! I’m a newbie and am just starting to put myself out there, and I admire the dynamic you and Stefanos have together. I look forward to attending more of your classes” – K & A

    “Quite possibly the best class I’ve ever taken in this community.” -TopKai

    “Thank you for such a fun, engaging, and informative class! I look forward to attending more of your events in the near future!” -@Menomena

  • “Present! Ready! Kneel! Expose! Expose Ass! Apology!”

    If you pictured yourself (or your sexy s-type) going through those positions and got excited, this class is for you! Position training has many variations – it can be used to initiate and build a D/s dynamic, to create sadistic predicaments, or as a “dance” of connection between partners (to name just a few!). Stefanos and Shay will discuss and demonstrate specific example positions (like the ones listed above), variations like numbered positions, and the use of signals. They will also demonstrate types of position training scenes, from yelling out orders like a drill sergeant (with severe punishments for fuck-ups) to delicately guiding a cherished pet through a posture performance. Interactive activities will help you focus on individualizing these positions and scene types to your turn-ons, limitations, interests, and dynamics. (This class contains demo, lecture, discussion, and class interaction elements.)

    Quotes about Strike A Pose:

    “I was asked about my favorite class at Fusion, and as I thought about it, I realized there was a definitive answer. Between the absolute delight of watching the presenters interact in a very entertaining way, the fantastic ideas that will definitely have a large impact on the way I will play in the future, and even having a handout to aid my erratic memory – my favorite class was, without question, Position Training. :-)” – Vampire_Ken

    “I would like to extend my thanks for the position training class you taught. It was a fantastic experience for me. I am always looking for ways to improve myself both as a submissive and as a person, and this class allowed me to figure out ways to work on both. I truly appreciate the time and energy you took to teach, show, and lead. I look forward to working on the positions I was shown and creating others that work well with myself and my partners. I also look forward to seeing you around the scene and hope to learn more from and about you. Thank you.” -@D_Valerian

  • Someone has fainted… fallen from suspension… appears drunk… do you know what to do? Based on the wildly popular Case Scenarios Dungeon Monitor Training class they created and have run since 2007, this session by Stefanos & Shay is especially appropriate for event hosts and DMs but valuable for everyone.

    Come prepared to interact, roleplay, troubleshoot, and discuss various dungeon emergencies, mishaps, and conflicts in an engaging and entertaining presentation model.

  • You don’t need pomp & props to have hot, dirty, kinky sex…

    Let Maestro Stefanos, the Steward of The Upper Floor, and his partner Shay show you how to bring sexy discipline into your bedroom at home!

    Undressing, kissing, and dirty talk can all be integrated into your kinky foreplay. Stefanos and his partner, lifestyle switch & performer Shay, will give you concrete tools to create your own sexy scenes. They’ll include tips for establishing your Dominant controlling role and giving orders, demonstrating your submissive role, being in the moment, establishing consent, and playing without toys — using just your hands and mouth.

    The class closes with a live demo showing ways to give oral sex a kinky flair!

    (This class is a demo, lecture, discussion, and a small amount of hands-on.)

    Previous attendees have said:

    “My husband and I would like to thank you for your enlightening and entertaining workshop. We have been curious for years (me more than him, I fear) and, in our way, have attempted to emulate some kink suggestions we have found online. However, being given knowledgeable in-person instruction is a superior learning method for pursuing kinky sex. You provided a wealth of information we are trying to assimilate into our sex play, which will take time and practice (ok, lots). We hope to attend another workshop in the near future!” K & M

  • Bringing your kinky fantasies into reality can be a fraught process — this class will offer a crash course on understanding what about BDSM gets us off, terminology & safety, toys and types of play, defining your personal kinks, and more! Instructors Maestro Stefanos & Shay are staples of the local scene who host over 100 events a year in the Bay Area — they’ll give you a complete guide to getting out into the SF kink community, including venue details, tips on meeting people, and etiquette for playing in kinky spaces!

    Bring all your BDSM inquiries, as there will be plenty of time for Q & A, including an opportunity to submit your questions anonymously.

  • Let your animal out at the Critter Mosh with Stefanos & Shay (aka kitty Bianca)! The mosh pit also features an obedience challenge and recognition awards for handlers and critters like most agile, friendliest, messiest, cutest, silliest, most obedient, and more – after all, what critter doesn’t like to have a fancy ribbon to show off? The critter mosh is not just for puppies, kitties, ponies, dragons, and unicorns; single handlers or those who already have their hands (and leashes) full can come too. If you’ve never done pet play, arrive at the start for a brief orientation, or feel free to ask questions as we go along. New animals and handlers are welcome to explore… just don’t pee on the carpet!

  • No more groping in the dark — this introductory session invites you to learn and experience techniques to bring fire play to your hands, including crafting your fire wand! Learn about safety, supplies, and creating a fire play scene. Witness the versatility of fire wands with demonstrations in fire wand technique, including blowing, trailing, combining fire wands with impact play, and various two-wand styles.

    Fire play requires constant attention to the details of the process as well as the rewards — Stefanos & Shay will emphasize safety and mindfulness.

    The instructors will provide materials and assistance in making fire wands. Class participants will then have a chance to try out their new wands as a top or bottom! Attendees are strongly encouraged to switch roles.

    (This class is demo and lecture for the first sections, then hands-on.)

    Feedback on Wave Your Magic FireWand:

    “You are very lovely, smart, and dynamic speakers, and I would go to another of your workshops in a heartbeat.” -islandladibug

    “You guys are adorable together, and a pleasure to watch, and I learned a lot in the classes as well! Of course, I won’t lie; I could be happy watching you read a phonebook… :-P” –Fish

    “We found the fire play classes very informative and entertaining; bravo, and thank you for doing them. You are Steph. You are both lovely to watch, and I got an extra kick out of the ‘meows’ and ‘yips’ you make when playing. SUPER-CUTE.” -Anon

Stefanos & Shay Signature Classes:

Shay’s Bondage Classes

  • Self-suspension can be used for dynamic movement, intense sensation, performance, education for partnered bondage, ritual, and more. After discussing general principles and safety considerations specific to self-suspension, participants will tie a chest and hip harness, practice support line skills, and tie through a basic face-up self-suspension, with a possible transition to an inversion.

    Prerequisites: This class is intended as a "101" level introduction to self-suspension. Attendees should have extensive experience tying on the ground (both topping and bottoming or self-tying) and be very comfortable with non-cinching single column ties. To self-suspend in class, participants should have the risk and body awareness to participate at a level that is safe(r) for them. (Please consult your doctor if you’re unsure.)

    Supplies: A basic self-suspension kit, including two synthetic uplines (we recommend POSH). At least four suspension-worthy carabiners and either a suspension ring or rigging plate; OR a minimum of six carabiners without a ring or a rigging plate. Some supplies may be available to borrow—please contact Shay with any questions.

    Attendees have said:

    “The best kink class we've ever taken. Not only an efficient curriculum that got us a ton of key skills -- and into the air! (after years of trying to find a good course) -- but you're such an concise, funny, and effective educator." – BunnyHole

  • Taking a "fuck around and (safely!) find out" approach to bondage, this is a friendly, approachable, raw-beginner-level introduction to rope. With an eye toward focusing on "why" rather than "how," attendees will learn versatile, foundational building blocks and core principles for Western-style bondage.

    This class is dedicated to concepts, not specific pattern ties (although we will incorporate pattern ties into this structure) – come prepared to participate in an exploratory process and build a deeper understanding of rope bondage. In addition to technical tying, foundational topics for partnered bondage (such as negotiation, communication, and risk mitigation) will be briefly introduced.

    While partnered bondage is the focus of this session, many of the participatory activities involve self-tying. Please come prepared to both tie and be tied!

    Pre-requisites: No bondage experience necessary. Knowledge of consent and negotiation basics and awareness of you and your partners' preferences, limits, needs, etc. Body awareness to participate and interact at a level that is safe(er) and consensual for you and your partner.

    Supplies: If you have rope, bring what you've got! The instructors will have lots to loan out. Either nylon or natural fiber rope works for this class; some activities will involve contrasting the two. Shorter (about 15-foot) pieces are ideal, but longer is also fine.

    Attendees have said:

    “Thank you so much for the wonderful class last night! We had an amazing time and I'm really blown away by your ability to teach. I can't believe how much we learned in that time frame. And of course, it was just plain fun! :D" – xxMissCara

    "Thank you for the class last night. Learning new ways to get to do single, double, and other fundamentals was great. I regret not taking your class first; you made rope feel so attainable and approachable. My partner, who had never tied before, was so excited when we left. Fantastic class!" - Lyber

  • Explore the acrobatics and freedom of movement that rope can offer! This playful & unorthodox rig lends itself well to silly and exhibitionistic scenes…or to nasty predicaments! Shay will discuss the general principals of this type of suspension and specific safety concerns. She will then show several variations on a 2-point dynamic suspension. The hands-on portion of the class focuses on attaching from just the hips (using a woven hip harness). This class is very self-suspension friendly. Bring your rope kit if you’d like to practice along with the floorwork, and as time/equipment allows, we’ll get you in the air!

    Pre-requisites:

    Tops: This is a fast-moving class that assumes an intermediate level of suspension knowledge – it is not appropriate for bondage beginners. Tops should know, at minimum, suspension-ready chest harness, attaching support lines, and basics of evaluating hard points and negotiation for bondage. While a woven hip harness will be reviewed in class, familiarity with this type of tie will be advantageous.

    Bottoms: Body and health awareness to participate safely at a level that’s appropriate for your body. Mobile suspensions are not necessarily strenuous (they can be quite comfortable), but getting the most out of mobile suspensions requires body awareness. If you are not experienced with suspension, you might start with reading this article.

    Self-suspenders: Same requirements as for tops AND bottoms.

    Supply requirements: Your basic suspension kit. Nylon or MFP rope for the hip harness (2 x 30′) is recommended. Two rated ropes for uplines are required; Shay will have Amsteel to loan. At least two carabiners. If you have swivels or climbing straps/spansets, please bring those! Bottoms/self-suspenders should ideally wear snug leggings/tights.

    Set-up/logistic notes for event producers: This class requires 90 minutes for demo-only and a minimum of 2.5 hours for hands-on. Beam-style frames (or truss) is needed – each suspension requires two points spaced 2-3 feet apart, so obviously the number of class participants who can have “air time” depends on the number of such points that can be set up given the equipment available.

  • Explore dynamic movement with a minimalistic & playful “circus bondage”-style 3- to 5- point-based rig. This class is hands-on and is self- or partnered-suspension friendly. As the rigging is fairly minimal, a good portion of the class will focus on giving the suspended person time to learn methods for taking full advantage of the freedom & flow offered by this suspension. Note that this is *not* traditional Shibari in any sense!

    Pre-requisites: Suspension-worthy chest harness that can load from the back. Support line management skills. Body awareness and ability to safely tolerate a tie that heavily loads the chest. Communication skills.

    Supplies: Your basic suspension kit. Synthetic/rated rope for uplines strongly recommended.

  • Lower body harnesses are foundational for many suspensions…or make great handles for bedroom bondage! After discussing basics like wrap placement and risk awareness, Shay will survey the class, and attendees will vote for the ties they most want to learn. Based on popular demand (and perhaps a bit of cajoling to choose her favorites), ties covered may include a swiss seat, drum harness, woven hip harness, gunslinger, mermaid tie, leg ladder, futomomo, and the elegantly named Butt Rainbow Thigh Tie of Doom.

    All the ties shown in this class are suspension-worthy; Shay will demonstrate attaching hangers and using them for suspension, and participants with adequate experience can also get airborne. Attendees are also welcome to come and stick with floorwork, as most of the class will focus on the harnesses themselves. Self-tyers welcome.

  • Upper body harnesses are foundational for many suspensions…as well as being lovely for decorative floorwork, or great handles for bedroom bondage! After a discussion of basics like wrap placement and risk awareness, Shay will survey the class and attendees will vote for the ties they most want to learn. Based on popular demand (and perhaps a bit of cajoling to choose her favorites), ties covered may include a basic shinju-style chest harness with weaving variations (including “heart harness” and binder-like modifications), figure-8 chest harness, teardrop harness, and a hishi-style (diamond) chest harness.

    All the ties shown in this class are suspension-worthy; Shay will demonstrate attaching hangers and using them for suspension, and participants with adequate experience can practice this as well. Attendees are also welcome to come and stick with floorwork, as the majority of the class will focus on the harnesses themselves. Self-tyers welcome, but note that the harnesses shown are difficult self-ties that require creating frictions and hitches behind your back. Variations for different body shapes, and to focus on minimizing (or emphasizing) chest tissue, will be discussed.

  • There’s been a lot of research on effective warm-up, conditioning, and stretching. Much of what we thought we knew years ago is probably wrong!

    This class provides an overview of the science on injury prevention and warm-up/stretching. After reviewing the general principles, we’ll have an opportunity to run through a warm-up, some conditioning and core exercises, and both static and dynamic stretches. Every body is different. Understanding the research, and your goals/intentions, will help you design a routine that works for you.

    This is a body-positive class that can be modified for a spectrum of physical abilities, and explores these topics as an optional addition to your bondage skillset.

    Level: Beginner to intermediate

    Pre-requisites: Body and health awareness to participate safely at a level that’s appropriate for your body.

    Supplies: Yoga mat if you have one, comfortable clothing to move around in (or comfort being nude for the hands-on portion).

  • Patterns, schmatterns…let’s talk about the reasoning behind different transition choices, and build your ability to create unique sequences! This class is intended for folks who are starting to work through transitions in suspension, and is self or partnered suspension friendly.

    To begin, Shay will bring the class along on the process to collaboratively create a demonstration transition sequence, discussing the “decision points” and pros and cons of different selections. Participants will then tie/be tied in a suspension-worthy chest and leg ladder harness—Shay will guide you through tying a leg harness, or you can tie your personal favorite. Within an outline, participants will pick their own paths, utilizing these harnesses for partial and full suspension sequences.

    Pre-reqs: This is an intermediate-level suspension class. Attendees should have experience with at least static suspension, basics of upline management, knowledge of negotiation, risk, and body awareness for suspension bondage, and ability to participate at a level that is within their risk and consent profile. Tiers should have the ability to independently tie a suspension-worthy upper body harness suitable for at least two positions (such as face up, face down, or side). Arms-free harnesses are recommended, but an arms-in harness may be used if found more sustainable by the person in rope.

    Supplies: Your basic suspension kit. Synthetic rope for uplines recommended.

  • Let’s be big geeky nerds about bondage risk! If discussing the nuances of concepts like risk homeostasis, perception gap, risk compensation, and the dilution effect sound fascinating, you’ll be in the right place. This class opens with a dive into the science of risk evaluation (spoiler alert: we suck at it but can learn to be better), followed by an overview of some bondage-specific hazards, from rope breaks to nerve injury to vector forces. It also includes an entertaining and perilous demo designed to highlight some, ah, potential growth opportunities as a tool to enhance your ability to assess your partner’s safety and expertise. Rather than promoting “one true way,” Shay will encourage you to develop your risk tolerance profile, “budget” your risk, and improve your ability to know what you don’t know.

    Pre-reqs: No bondage experience is required. Folks interested in all aspects of rope (tying, being tied, self-tying, etc.) are welcome to attend.

    Attendees have said about this class:

    “I like your teaching style. You have great topics, present in a way that appeals to the right side of the curve, leave a lot of things open-ended (not twue wayism), and confidently say if you don’t know something. I got some good things out of it. I’m glad I attended. Thank you” – KnottyWordz

    “Thank you so so much; this class was fabulous! As always, you are a rockstar, and I learned so much. Plus, it was super fun, and loved how interactive you made it!” – Alicia

    “Super informative and engaging!” – M

  • This friendly introduction to Western-style partnered suspension includes an overview of general principles, safety considerations, risk mitigation, negotiation, and body awareness for suspension. The class will guide participants through a suspension sequence from face-up to inversion to face-down. Upline management and partnered communication will be emphasized. While pattern ties will be shown, the focus of the class is on teaching principles and concepts, not formulas and recipes.

    Prerequisites: This class is an introduction to Western-style partnered suspension. Attending with a partner is required – we love self-suspension, but that is a different class! Within the role they will take in class (tying or flying), attendees should have extensive experience with floor bondage and be comfortable with non-cinching single-column ties, communication in a bondage context, and at least three harnesses/pattern ties. To suspend in class, participants should have the risk, skill, and body awareness to participate at a level that is safe(r) for them. Please consult your doctor if you have health concerns, particularly regarding chest loading and/or inversions. The class includes an arms-out chest harness and a Swiss seat-style hip harness.

    Supplies: A basic suspension kit, including two rated synthetic uplines (we recommend POSH). At least four rated locking carabiners and either a suspension ring, rigging plate, or at least two additional carabiners if you do not have a ring or a rigging plate. We recommend that flyers wear snug-fitting leggings or shorts that extend at least 1/3 of the way down the thighs. Some supplies may be available to borrow — please contact Shay with any questions.

  • Sexy (or silly!) bondage doesn’t have to involve fancy rope or tricky techniques. Keep it easy and fun by using informal restraints created from neckties!

    Stefanos & Shay will briefly discuss safety and communication for restraint, then jump into demos and hands-on practice creating bondage with neckties. The basic techniques you’ll learn in this class can be used to create a hog tie, spread eagle, frog tie, box tie position (hands behind back), and more!

    Throughout the class, Stefanos & Shay will discuss and demonstrate variations like limb to limb bondage vs. tying off to furniture (including tips on using beds), specifics like crab and T-rex ties, execution in context, dynamic (and cooperative) bondage bottoming, and setting and maintaining a mood for your scene (from sexy to silly to sadistic).

    The instructors will have some neckties for class use (bring some of your own if you can) – the first 100 attendees will be provided with a tie for hands-on practice! Attending with a partner is not required — most of the basic techniques can be practiced either on yourself or with a partner.

    (This class is lecture, demo, discussion, and hands-on.)

  • Whatever your rigging problem, weaving is probably the answer! This class will teach gorgeous, suspension-worthy chest and leg harnesses that illustrate weaving techniques, as well as discussing & demonstrating weaving as a general concept that can be integrated into many common ties. Weaving makes your harnesses more comfortable & sustainable, helps maintain tension while keeping bondage flat, and creates a sleek & sexy aesthetic… while also being easy to learn & execute! Chest harness variations for showcasing breasts, or for flat chests/de-emphasizing breasts, will be shown, as well as a unique “diamond” leg harness and foot/hand cuff using these techniques. Depending on time and the level of the attendees, a side-suspension sequence using these harnesses may also be covered.

    Level: Beginning to intermediate. This class is self-tying friendly, however the chest harness is a more intermediate to advanced level self-tie.

    Pre-requisites: Basic rope handling skills, single column tie, understanding of reverse tensions

    Supplies: 2-3 pieces of ~30 foot rope, 1 piece of ~10-15 foot rope. 6mm recommended, no larger than 8mm.

  • Sexy bondage in the heat of the moment doesn’t have to involve a pile of rope. Keep it seductive and fun by using informal restraints created from clothing, bedding, and more!

    Stefanos & Shay will briefly discuss safety and communication for restraint, then jump into demos and hands-on practice creating bondage with unconventional materials. From the expected (neckties, belts) to the less cliché (shirts, nylons, pillowcases, saran wrap, and more), this is a bondage-beginner-level look at a large variety of “found” implements and how to apply these creatively and as safely as possible.

    Throughout the class, Stefanos & Shay will discuss and demonstrate variations like limb-to-limb bondage vs. tying off to furniture, specifics like the “T-Shirt Turtle Tie” and “Nylon Straightjacket,” execution in context, dynamic (and cooperative) bondage bottoming, and setting and maintaining a mood for your scene (from sexy to silly to sadistic).

    The instructors will have neckties and other supplies for classroom use. Please bring a belt to practice with! You can practice some of the basic techniques on yourself, but we recommend coming with a partner if you’d like to experience the hands-on portions of the class.

    (This class is lecture, demo, discussion, and hands-on.)

Online Classes

  • To all the geeks out there who think a ridiculous PowerPoint deck, multiple choice poll questions, and an extensive bibliography sounds like a good time, this one’s for you! Extreme science nerd Shay will provide a broad overview of their favorite kink-related (or kink-applicable, or even just too damned interesting to leave out) studies and geeky tidbits, and relate these to a ridiculously broad array of BDSM topics. From cognitive biases to hedonic reversal to pain processing to mirror neurons, we’ll examine questions as basic as “why are we into this kinky stuff, anyway” and as specific as “what is the science behind intermittent positive reinforcement” and “how does disgust relate to arousal?” For science!

    Formatting note: This is an online class.

  • Turning off your worries and being fully immersed in the moment can be challenging…especially now. After a brief discussion of safety for self-tying, this session will explore the concept of flow, and how to apply three key aspects of flow states to bring yourself into the present with self-bondage. Free-form spiral-style floor bondage, fluid rope handling, and making self-bondage more intense (some might say “painful”) will be discussed and demonstrated. This session includes optional participatory activities – if you’d like to tie along, recommended supplies include at least two full (approximately 30′) lengths of rope and an appropriate cutting tool.

  • Many folks who educate adults on kink and sexuality figure out how in the process of doing it. As the saying goes, experience is the best teacher – but tuition is very high! Based on their combined two plus decades of kink presenting, vanilla teaching, and event programming direction, Stefanos & Shay will share their top ten* teaching tips and tricks. Topics run from research on memorable content organization (spoiler: Shay may sing) to bottom-led education to sex-demo-specific suggestions drawn from Stefanos’ porn experience. Whether you’re an aspiring newcomer or seasoned presenter, this session will help you put some extra finesse and vivacity into your classes.

    * Actual number of tips is 11. Of course it goes to 11.

  • Wrist to wrist, ankle to chair leg, thigh to torso – one simple bondage technique can bring all these together, and you don’t even need rope! This beginning bondage class will briefly cover safety, body awareness, and communication for restraint, then jump into demos and (optional) hands-on practice creating basic bondage. The techniques you’ll learn in this class can be used to construct a crab tie, box tie position (hands behind back), chair restraint, bent leg ties, and more! You can participate as a self-tyer or with a partner, and rope is optional – a few neckties or scarves will do the trick for most applications shown. After exploring these techniques, we’ll discuss and demonstrate free-form spiral-style bondage and making bondage more “intense” (some might say “painful”) with everyday items.

About Us

Stefanos & Shay‘s entertaining, information-packed classes have been called “better than a Vegas act.” They are energetic, engaging, exuberant exhibitionists – with a bit of an alliteration fetish! Shay is the author, and Stefanos is the photographer for Tying & Flying, the first-ever book on self-suspension; they co-edited and authored Creating Captivating Classes: A guide for kink, sexuality, and relationship presenters.

In between traveling to present and perform, they are based in San Francisco, where they have hosted events and productions, including acclaimed bondage and fetish performance event Twisted Windows, BENT (the Bay Area’s biggest dungeon party), Kink.com’s The Upper Floor, and Legion of Sin motorcycle club, as well as producing bondage and performances stages at the Folsom Street Fair, Seattle Erotic Art Festival, and San Francisco Pride’s Leather Alley.

Stefanos & Shay have performed, presented, and hosted around the country and internationally, including at Dark Odyssey (Winter Fire, Surrender, & Fusion), Rome BDSM Conference, Thunder in the Mountains, KinkFest, RopeCraft, Northwest Leather Celebration, Westcoast Bound, San Francisco State University, Stanford University, OpenSF, Kinky Kollege, Beyond Leather, the SF Citadel, Mission Control, Center for Sex and Culture, the Exotic Erotic Ball, International Ms Leather, BayCon, COPE, Mischief in May, Folsom Fringe, and Cum & Glitter. They’ve also been featured on KinkAcademy.com, PassionateU.com, BehindKink, Discovery Channel’s Oddities, Skin Two, KinkUniversity, and over half a dozen documentaries worldwide.

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Princess Kali, founder of Kink Academy

“Stefanos & Shay are an incredibly dynamic duo, full of energy and sexy information that they share in a really warm and memorable way. They are professional, efficient, and really pleasant to work with. They will raise the level of any event they participate in.”

Jason James, Managing Director of Mission Control

“The playful dynamic between two experienced players, with vastly different styles, who also happen to be great friends and lovers, is just wonderful to behold. This dynamic seems to encourage lots of relaxed banter and interaction, not only for the two instructors but for the students as well. Their classes seem to balance extensive preparation and planning with impromptu opportunities for new ideas and suggestions. Shay and Stefanos do an excellent job of teaching while making sure everyone has a good time and feels a part of the learning process.”

August Knight and Phil Derby, owners of SF Citadel

“Stefanos and Shay are a joy to watch and listen to, never a dull moment, wickedly entertaining with the hands-on knowledge needed for wonderful presenters who live the lifestyle with heart. They are by far one of our most dynamic and powerful presenters and always have a huge turnout for classes and events.”

@pervocracy

“@ShayBlondie and @MaestroStefanos have been giving spectacular presentations… They’re sexy, consent-focused, and omg hilarious.”

flightless

“Shay is beautiful and strong. Stefanos is menacing and hilarious. They are both incredibly poised and self-assured, at least as far as one can tell while watching them perform. When they co-teach a workshop, it is a virtuoso performance…. They are pillars of the community, not just oak beams but like those gorgeously carved marble columns that last thousands of years and still look amazing. They are also hilarious. Besides teaching, they have MC’d and produced kinky variety shows that blend the sexiness of good burlesque, the humor of vaudeville, and the virtuosity of circus athletics. Shay and Stefanos are stars, and hardworking ones, but they are also kind, open, and approachable. National treasures, is what I’m getting at!”

@XanderBear

“Stefanos and Shay used a variety of strong presentational skills to get their points across, using brief role-played scenarios, anecdotes, audience interaction, and demonstrations. They covered a lot of ground. The seminar seemed to be over in minutes. It was fun, funny, engaging, and informative and ultimately gave me some really valuable insights. I was left wanting more.”

@DukeOfAlbany

“I have attended eleven workshops in total [at Rome BDSM Conference]. All were very good (with just one possible exception). However Stefanos and Shay with their impressive presentation skills and their infectious personality were definitely in a league of their own.”

Quotes and References

Private Instruction

Note: Shay is not currently offering private instruction due to schedule restrictions.

Stefanos may be available for private instruction and consulting on select topics.

In the past, we have offered private sessions on topics including bondage (from beginner to advanced/suspension), D/s, protocol training, impact play, self-suspension, and much more – take a look at our extensive class list for some ideas of the scope of our offerings and expertise. We are also available for “pick your brain” sessions — see below for more details! Private instruction is tailored to the individual’s specific areas of interest, with lots of opportunities to go “off script” and explore many topics (or dive deep into a particular inquiry).

We can meet in person in the Bay Area or over a video call.

Basic costs are as follows:

  • Private instruction with Stefanos OR Shay: $140 for 2 hours, $60 for each hour over 2 hours

  • Private instruction with Stefanos AND Shay: $200 for 2 hours, $80 for each hour over 2 hours

  • A 2-hour minimum applies anytime we are traveling for an in-person session. Single-hour rates may be available for video call sessions; e-mail for details.

  • Before booking, we will provide a single 10-minute phone consultation or limited e-mail discussion. If booking and pre-session discussion require more time, we will arrange a video call, and our hourly rate will apply.

  • Looking to “pick our brains” about being a sex/BDSM educator, event production, class design, or any other topic? We are happy to arrange a skype call at a special rate of $50 for 30 minutes. If you would like to meet in person within 10 miles of our location (we are based in the Bay Area but travel frequently and may be available while “on the road”), our rate is $100 for a 1.5-hour meeting with either Stefanos or Shay. This applies to situations where you want to use our experience and expertise as a resource and differs from BDSM/kink skill-based private instruction.

  • If you have questions about the type of session that’s appropriate for you, please don’t hesitate to send us a message to inquire!